Saturday, November 25, 2017

The Motivator

It's been a while since I last blogged and it isn't for any reason beyond a lack of inspiration, but lately I've had a few new encounters and therefore thoughts that I wanted to write about - besides, I can't let some of these popular BDSM sites, who have also started to blog, outdo me, right? So let's get on with it.

Everyone is driven by some kind of motivation and until recently, I hadn't really given this much thought. If a person approaches me and says "I want to be a 24/7 slave", I seldom asked why, I just assume, naively perhaps, that his desires were similar to mine. A person had been in contact with me a year ago and he said that he wanted to be my slave and he came to visit. From the get-go, I found him clingy and needy, and after a few visits, there was a reoccuring theme: he wanted to marry me and take my last name. I put it aside, thinking to myself that this would naturally be an option, the idea of a slave taking my last name is desireable, indeed wanted. The marrying part, well, that is up for discussion. I hadn't been too concerned regarding his incestent requests to marry me. But another theme emerged, when I would put a hood on him or a blindfold, he would eventually panic and we would have to end the session. So I stopped putting on the hood, the blindfold, really any gear at all, and he made it through the "session", but then it was no longer a session but a vanila hookup of sorts. I had hoped that perhaps after a few times of meeting him that I could slowly re-introduce the gear, but he began having the same panic attacks again. I then realized that his fetish, was the idea of taking another mans last name and marrying him that it had nothing to do with being a 24/7 slave or engaging in any BDSM activity of sorts. It might not have even been a fetish at all, but a sly way of getting something else. And it was this that made me think more about the motivations of people.

So what are my motivations exactly to be clear? I've had my fair share of vanilla relationships, but in the bedroom, it just isn't enough. I am too aggressive and I don't like an active partner. For many guys, who haven't been with an aggressive man, it is initially interesting for them, but, as I get used to them, so does the increase in my aggression, and this often scares them away. So I guess that is one motivation - the desire to have someone who is submissive in the bedroom. But being submissive in the bedroom doesn't mean that someone is a slave (I know some people use this parallel when they list their "experience" as a slave, but it is a reach at best).

The other aspect is control, the desire to control another man. In vanilla relationships, I haven't necessarily wanted to control my partner, but it was something that was always missing. I have had a few slaves who have come to visit for an extended period and I find it most rewarding and in seeking my motivation for wanting a 24/7 slave, I have to ask myself why. Is it him being naked and hooded? Yes. Is it about the constant thought in the back of my brain while I am at work, that there is a slave locked in my cage at home? Yes. Is it the ability to take him and have sex with him whenever I want or to command him to do something and he does it? Yes. But the part that is missing, because even all of that isn't enough motivation to own another man 24/7 - one can have much of this with just extended sessions, is what comes beyond a week or two, what is evident only after months, perhaps years. The ability to modify him and mould him to my liking, expanding his limits, changing his behaviors from being subserviant to a society and to others outside, to only being subserviant to myself. I have to say that this is my motivation. I don't want another mans belongings, his money, his citizenship (of whatever country he hails from), I don't want any of that. I want him, naked, exposed, and simple - just as he is, to be mine and to belong to me.

That is my motivation.

No comments:

Post a Comment