Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Active and Passive



When most people think of a top, they think of someone who is ‘active’, in other words, they take charge in the bedroom and penetrate (anally) the bottom, someone who we generally regard as ‘passive’. But what might come as a surprise to you is that this is not always the case. Some tops may take a passive role and the bottom an active role. I see this frequently.

Consider myself for example. A long, long time ago, in a land far away… (just kidding), I was once taking medicine just before bedtime that pretty much knocked me out cold. I was in what became a very short-lived relationship. I was the top in the relationship and he was the bottom. One night I awoke in the early morning hours to my partner riding my cock just as he was ejaculating. After he had finished, he cleaned me off and went back to sleep, but I did not cum. I decided to lay still and pretend that I was sleeping. Early the next morning, I awoke again to him doing the same thing. Okay, okay, you might be thinking “rape” (yes, technically) – I wonder to this day how long it was going on for, but the point is that I had discovered something that I had never considered before. Often we have these preconceived notions of what a bottom is and what a top is and the role that we expect each to play.

You see: he was a bottom - he absolutely enjoyed having a cock inside of him with no desire to penetrate another guy, but he was not passive. He did not enjoy a top fucking him if it wasn’t on his terms and when he needed it.

Let’s take this a step further and apply it to our fictional character “Fred”. Fred is a top, but he is passive, he has no desire to be a bottom, to be penetrated or even to perform oral sex on a guy. Fred comes over to my house, and I tie him to a bed, blindfold him, gag him, and he absolutely loves it. But Fred needs an active bottom, let’s call him “John”, to perform oral sex on him, to ride his cock, whatever possible to make him feel good and “John” being a bottom, loves this. “John” has no desire to take direction from or give up control to “Fred”.

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