Saturday, March 5, 2016

More Musings



I get these messages sometimes from slaves who have this ideal Master that is wholeheartedly “complete”, that he is so self-sufficient that he doesn’t need anyone, wherein the slave is his muse, but yet disposable. And while at times we all feel this way, we are socially complex creatures with many needs and any Master, including myself is not so different.

I think there is a certain vulnerability in being a Master (just as there is with being a slave). There are slaves who like to be treated like a boy, protected by the Master, guided, sheltered, but then there are also those who like to protect and shelter the Master, all the while submitting to him. I want to make a note of differentiating this from active submissives. I am more alluding to a slave who enjoys being submissive, but simply protective, sheltering – not in a domineering way however. I’ve had experience with both and it’s an interesting dynamic. I don’t believe it makes a Master less of a man, but actually a better man, a better Master.

There is definitely something paternal in me. And when I use that word ‘paternal’, I speak only of the emotional (not sexual) bond between a father and son. The desire to mentor, love, guide, and be a permanent part of a slave’s life. But there is also something in me that has a need to be held, loved, cherished as well. Does this make me a switch? No. I don’t believe it does, but rather simply human. The desire to receive attention, affection, love – essentially being worshiped by a slave is definitely something that I enjoy immensely.

And oftentimes, I get messages from slaves who state that they are looking for a Master to make them better, to train them. While, I’m okay with that (it’s very common), there is something incredibly appealing about having a slave who is well educated and adjusted and has it already in his mind that this is what he wants and he knows his place and will do anything to subject himself to his Master.

Sunday, August 2, 2015

Common Questions

As you can imagine, I get quite a few questions on any given day. I've decided to start writing down some of the questions that I am asked and my thoughts on them. I'll keep adding to this post so check back.

(Q) What would you enjoy doing with a 'guy' like me?

Often when I'm asked this question, the only thing I envision is the guy whacking off in his bed and it's kind of a turn off, since it means he's not really serious and is just looking for a quick fling or some dirty talk to get him through his moment.

First, I know nothing about you and the personality of a slave has a lot to do with how I approach him. It's true! If I find you are rowdy and obnoxious, I am going to treat you differently than if you come across quiet and humble.

Second, what I do with you one day, even one month to another, will be different from what I would do with you a different day or in another month due to the mood I'm in, hell, even the weather outside can affect what I do.

Third, my limits are few and guaranteed to exceed your own. Asking me an open-ended question like this, may simply turn you off when you hear my response.

Instead, start by telling me a bit about yourself, what you do and don't enjoy doing, and what you hope to get out of it.

(Q) "How r u", "cud" or any question that includes improper grammar, spelling or net-lingo.

(A) I may respond normally and put up with it, but most likely you'll just irritate me and I won't respond. It will be even worse if I tell you to speak properly and then you revert the next day or so. It's disrespectful. I'm not your bestie. Would you write a prospective employer in such a manner? Probably not, so why write me in such a manner?

(Q) "Hey"

(A) I usually will not respond.

(Q) Visiting the city next week OR I'm in the city visiting

(A) I'm usually not into casual. My response will depend on my mood. You might get lucky but on the other hand. A better approach would be to contact me ahead of your visit, provide me with information about your likes and dislikes, and what you specifically want to get out of our meeting. In other words, what's in it for me as a DOM? Not, what's in it for you besides the fact that you're just flying through.

(Q) I'm visiting the local bathhouse and wondering if you could meet me.

(A) I'm not interested in bathhouses or sex clubs. Such venues center on sex. They may incorporate aspects of BDSM, such as a leather bed or a sling, but it is all driven by sex, which isn't what motivated me to create this blog in the first place. I will block you, not respond, or simply tell you that I am not interested. It will also most likely result in me never wanting to meet you, ever.

(Q) Check out my profile and let me know what you think.


(A) I probably won't. Why? Well, imagine you were applying for a job. Would you tell your perspective employer "Go to my online web site and have a look at my resume and tell me what you think?" Instead, you'd most likely summarize yourself; sell yourself to me, why should I be interested in you as a DOM? For all I know, you're simply copying and pasting such a message into every profile you can find.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Permanence

When I entered the world of BDSM, I had just left a very long, closed, monogamous vanilla relationship. The thought of having just failed was depressing and I honestly had no idea what I was going to do next. Then I met someone and he introduced me to the world of BDSM. I was fascinated. He had opinions (he wasn't a pushover so to speak), but he was always passive to my thoughts and desires both in and out of the bedroom and always courteous. He would show me images of things he liked, we would go places, and it was all new to me. Soon he wasn't enough for me though, I needed more and I wanted more.

Over the years, I continued to meet slaves, around two hundred to date, all the meanwhile maturing. It's that maturity however, that biological time clock (or inner-father) that has left me wanting something more at the age of forty that seems unattainable: permanence.

You see, most slaves who want to visit me are interested in my gear or my cage and want to experiment - they want exactly what I wanted when I started out. It's fascinating to them. It's still fascinating to me as well, but I've grown to the point where simply tying up a slave for a while and playing with him isn't enough. My desires have now transcended beyond gear and sex towards something more emotional and connected.

So what is permanence exactly? When you enter the world, you have a family. Whether it's a mother and father or two mothers or two fathers or a mix and match is irrelevant, the point is that family is always there. They are always on your mind. You're connected to them. It's the same with close friends, you develop bonds with them, they get to know you, they become like family. Amongst these people, you fit in, you're comfortable, you belong, you would protect them, and you care for them and them for you. This is permanence: strong relationships that are established, and unlikely to fail you throughout your entire life.

I have found that my desire to establish deep connections with my slaves, to love and care for them (in a fatherly way) has increased tremendously as I have aged. The problem inherent however, is that this is not the case with the vast majority of slaves who visit me - they are not looking for the same thing. They fail to see that there is something more meaningful and better that has a significantly higher level of growth outside of a session, but will never attain it simply limiting themselves to sessions.

Ultimately, this is where I am. This is why I believe in 24/7/365.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Blog Is Moving

Apparently Google has rescinded their policy and the Blog will not be moving. I will however set up another site where the blog will also reside as a precaution and will announce that site soon.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

First Timers

Over the years, I've had many "first timers". I say first timers, but I'm going to extend this to include relatively inexperienced slaves and Dom's who want to experience being a slave - regardless of sexual orientation: straight or gay or something else entirely - as I've had them all.

Imagine slave after slave comes to visit you and let's say you enjoy rope bondage and therefore you tie the slave up. One day you tie him up in a hog tie, the next in some other position and so on and so forth. Perhaps you engage in some wax play or heat play or some S/M, whatever. I want you to imagine how it is for a Master to go through these same motions with slave after slave, day after day, week after week and so on and so forth. Of course, the knot you tied yesterday may become a little more perfected today or you may have a slightly different dynamic from one slave or the other but frankly, it's more of the same.

For a slave, he simply moves on. He move on to another Master or perhaps is juggling five or six at the same time. He's ability to grow thereby is exponential. A Master on the other hand is limited to meeting other Masters, continuing to meet a plethora of slaves who can't satisfy him, or perhaps engaging in the submissive side of things himself to learn through example. However, the slaves who come to see him generally want his guidance and expect him to somehow magically fulfill whatever fantasies exist in their heads without any upfront communication.

For some, this works. For someone like me however, it doesn't. Not even close.

Let's say little jimmy (jimmy is not real btw) comes to visit me. We go through a bit of orientation, we try some light bondage, some wax, etc. Little jimmy may not come back since he had some fantasy in his head that he wanted to be thrown on the floor and drugged or something. On the other hand, let's say little jimmy comes to visit, and I did just that, I told him to enter my garage, and then subdued him in the dark and did all sorts of unspeakable acts to him ;-) But little jimmy might not come back because I scared the crap out of him. Now, little jimmy may come back but he might have a partner, he might have a great career, he might have a parent who is incapacitated or a little gerbil called Suzie that he can't leave at home for more than an hour. All of these scenarios have happened to me btw.

The problem inherent is that all of the routine motions become mentally boring for lack of a better word. Yes - boring. When I first started out, I fully enjoyed learning and growing as well, but not finding a slave who is at the same level or even remotely committed to growing to such a level in all this time ends up leaving one feeling that is not even worth the while. This is further compounded by the sheer number of slaves nowadays who place so many restrictions or limits on the play that that's all it could ever be - play.

In addition, it is important for the growth of little jimmy as well. Unfortunately, most "first timers" don't see the forest past the trees. They get tied up, run home and tell all their slave friends what happened and that's that - another notch on the whipping post. This reduces BDSM down to a simple act - a transaction that occurs in a set period of time and to nothing more. The dynamic that happens outside the playroom thereby never is explored which is incredibly unfortunate.

You might be that little jimmy. Perhaps you've never slept in a cage and have never felt the security it can provide, much like a dog in his crate. If you've never slept more than one night in a cage, you may not understand the impact it can have on you psychologically. If you've tried electrodes and hated it and never tried again or again, you'd never realize that sometimes it just takes time to start enjoying something that your body has to adjust to.

And it is isn't only about sex. It's sexual, physical, emotional, and spiritual in many regards and all of these things take time to develop. They can't develop in the few hours or arguably even in a couple of weeks.

What I'm saying on this Sunday morning is that any relationship, including those in BDSM require commitment from both parties and I've been finding lately that the little jimmies who come to visit me are lacking in commitment. Perhaps the result of a must have generation. I'll end by saying this generation - is missing out.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Boyfriends vs. Slaves


I've been out of the blog-o-sphere for the past ten months, in a monogamous vanilla relationship with another man. It's amazing how unexpectedly one can fall in love and although we are no longer together, my heart is still his.

It does raise a good question though, what made him my boyfriend and not my slave? Here are some of my thoughts on the matter:

Intention

When I meet slaves for BDSM, they approach me as slaves. I've never once had a man who I've been dating say, "I want to be your slave". Right from the onset, there is the knowledge that the guy in front of me is a slave. He finds my blog or my profile on a site or hears about me from someone else, and we approach everything from that point forward and he is limited to the capacity of a slave. Similarly, with boyfriends, you meet them in a coffee shop or out some place and you approach it differently - as equals, as potential mates, possibly friends and that develops into something more.

Attraction

The majority of slaves I meet are average looking - some not even that. There's been a few, however, that well, let's just say have made my buzzard go off. These slaves are often already in relationships or do not want a relationship. Believe me when I say, that my standards are not that high when it comes to looks - that should offer some hope to any slaves who do aspire to being more, but I have to be attracted to any man who is my partner. On the other hand, I do not have to be attracted to a slave. It helps, but I usually have low expectations when it comes to slaves.

Dedication

I expect dedication from both my partner and slaves, however, more so from my partner. Why you might ask? Well, slaves come, they learn, and then they leave in search of greener pastures. There have been a few slaves that have stuck around, even though I haven't met them in over ten months, but they are exceptions. A partner, I'm expecting (although it hasn't happened yet) that they will be dedicated enough to stick around.

Love

Love is strange word with no easy definition. Perhaps to state that I would give my life for a partner who I love would put the word into perspective. I love my slaves too, but in a different way. It's more of a caring love and not so much of a romantic love - more in the way that a father cares for his offspring (or should).

Sex

Sexually, I am a top. "Well duh, right?" However, sexual position preference has nothing to do with whether you are a Master. There are Masters that are bottoms and slaves who are tops, and there are some that switch.

When I have sex with a slave, it's often seated in domination and pleasure. He may think that I am enjoying him as a 'person', but rest assured that I'm not. He's just an object and he's being used regardless of what fantasy may be going on in his head. Although I have crossed boundaries with my partners before, perhaps tying them up or using gear in bed, it's not about domination or just getting off. It's more about keeping it interesting. I have an enormous amount of respect for my partners. He is my equal in life. I give a little, he gives a little and sex isn't just sex with him. It's about sharing love, it's caring, it's intimate, it's highly emotional. None of this crosses my mind when having sex with a slave.

Interests

Of course, over time, I do get to know my slaves and some of the interests they have, but their interests really aren't that important outside of BDSM. If my slave comes over and says, "I like rollerblading". Well, that's nice, but you're not here to do rollerblading now are you? These interests may be beneficial, but are second to BDSM. On the other hand, when I'm with friends or partners, interests do matter to an extent. While two people don't need to have exact interests, it helps if the other person enjoys hiking as much as I do. Obviously, interests in BDSM do matter however or at least openness to trying different things.

Longevity

I'm not into endless relationships. Some people date only for having sex. They go on a couple of dates, make the other person feel they are serious, have sex, and then move on. In a way, they are manipulative. I'm not like this. When I'm in a relationship with someone I love, the goal is to remain with that person, to grow the relationship. On the other hand, with session slaves, it's often a very structured meeting. The slave shows up, you go through various activities, and they leave. This continues (hopefully) and they (and I) grow in the process. They may continue to see me for years of course, but it has not (as of yet) ever progressed to anything permanent. Ideally, that would happen, but it hasn't.

Kissing

I've only kissed one slave in my life and it was an error in judgment. I don't kiss slaves. It's just something I like to reserve for partners.

In closing, I know many couples who are in a relationship and are involved in BDSM. Some of these couples play together, others don't. Some see others on the side. Therefore, the above is only how I feel. Would I ever have a slave and a partner in one? It's unlikely. Although there are many parallels, I view the two differently and it would be difficult for me to reconcile the two. I challenge anyone to try. It would take a lot of effort from this person to impress me and you'd have your work cut out for you.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Breath Play

I'm going to state what should be obvious to all my readers: breathing is necessary to sustain life and we do it all day, every day, throughout our lives giving it very little thought. It is controlled by your brain and although you can hold your breath, assuming you're healthy, you will not die by doing so. The worst that could happen is that you will pass out and your body will resume breathing on its own - although few of us can ever hold our breath anywhere close enough for that to happen.

So what's breath play?

Well, if you haven't figured it out yet by reading my blog, much of BDSM revolves around taking and relinquishing control. In simple terms, allowing a Master to control your breathing through use of some means, such as placing a hand over your mouth and nose, is breath play.

I have been involved in breath play since my roots and there are many extremes.

Breath play isn't without risk. Deprived of oxygen, anyone will pass out, and if oxygen is continually deprived (often within minutes) the slave will die - not something that any sane Master wants. Sustained breath play, even if the slave does not pass out, may result in heart palpitations and possibly a heart attack. It's important that if using a device to prevent airflow, that the device can be rapidly removed (i.e. in seconds) and that you don't leave a slave ever unattended for any duration of time. Never use devices when trying to restrict your breath on your own. It's also a good idea to limit the amount of time involved doing breath play. I tend to limit breath play to a maximum of 15 minutes in a session, taking short breaks as necessary throughout and stopping any time the slave gives a safe signal. Obviously verbal safe words don't work well in breath play.
Keep in mind the average person can hold their breath for about 25 to 40 seconds and this can pass quickly when you are engrossed in breath play.

Getting involved in breath play requires trust. The slave has to be able to trust that the Master knows what to do in an emergency and that they are going to respect any safe signals.

The simplest form of breath play involves the Master holding his hand over the slaves' nose and mouth. I find the best way is to position the slave, either sitting or standing, so their back is to you. Place the palm of your hand over the slaves' mouth. If you place your fingers over the slaves' mouth, they will still be able to breathe. Then grasp the slaves' nostrils between your thumb and the base of your index finger, essentially closing the air supply. This form is also the safest in my opinion in that the hand can simply be removed and airflow is immediately restored.

Care must be taken when using devices such as plastic wrap and bags. I believe that plastic wrap is the more unsafe of the two since it is difficult to remove quickly, especially if the slave begins to panic.
I have found that other devices, such as a pillow, is less effective at controlling breath.

What would someone want to do breath play?

From a Master's perspective, it caters to your desire to control. I personally enjoy the feeling of a slave's warm, moist breath on my hand, even if I'm not completely cutting off his breath supply. I also feel an intense rush simply from being able to control something as rudimentary as breathing.

From a slave's perspective, there may be many reasons he decides to allow the Master to control his breath. He may do it, not necessarily out of enjoyment but rather simply because he sees his Master enjoys it. If the slave is horny, depriving him of oxygen will heighten his senses and he will have a more intense orgasm.

Regardless of what you decide when it comes to breath play - play safe, know and respect your limits.

P.S. To all my regular readers, I am still around. Got lots of ideas for new posts on a variety of subjects.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Dog Positions

The following post is one that I will hopefully add to over time. It shows and describes some of the more common dog positions. NOTE: All pictures on this site were taken by me and may not be reproduced without written permission.

Kneel

The 'Kneel' command generally is used when a dog should beside his Master often in preparation for walking beside his Master. The Master's leg should be about the mid-body of the slave (just about the bottom of the rib cage) and as the dog walks, it should remain so (with the responsibility being of the dog to maintain that position). The dogs lower back should be arched, with his legs and arms spaced apart falling ideally beneath his hips and shoulders respectively. The head should be faced up and forward.

This first picture I took as it shows the inward arc of the slaves back. Such an arc is seen in real dogs. This particular slave is in pretty good shape and will probably be able to comfortably maintain that position, however, may slaves lack the definition and flexibility and often cannot arc their back or worse their lower back forms a hump. Also apparent in this photo is the slaves stronger upper body - ideal for a dog slave (well, any male in general). He holds it well, however, creating the strong chest and foreleg appearance that you would see in a real dog.



This next picture shows the same kneeling position, but from a different angle. The slaves head tilted up. The arms should fall generally beneath the shoulders as shown. The position of the hands will vary, although I tend to prefer fisted hands with the palm on the floor facing forward (as it reminds me more of a real dog), however, comfort is ideally important for maintaining this stance. 


Begging

When a real dog begs, it can either maintain a sitting position with its head tilted upwards and whining, or  it can stand up on it's legs (often more of a trick than a normal position) with it's paws bent forward with its head tilted up. The basic community norm follows the latter. This first picture was posted since it clearly shows the tilting of the slaves head upwards towards its Master. It also shows the bending of the hands. The dog should be on his knees and not standing when in this position - ideally, a dog slave should spend most of his time on his knees. 



This next photo also shows the slave begging, but from a different angle. The hands are brought up to the chest and tilted loosely forward. His head is facing upwards towards his Master. 


Lying Down

I've never been too fond of this form of lying down as it does not remind me whatsoever of a real dog, however, it does follow the community norm and can be maintained for a somewhat longer period of time. In this photo, the dog is seen lying on his belly, his legs and arms outstretched.


Sunday, September 23, 2012

Giving Up Your Life? Bud, You Just Found It.


Interestingly enough one of the most common arguments I hear from 'slaves' is that although they like submitting in the bedroom, they want all the freedoms granted to everyone else in this society outside the bedroom, often coupled with the statement that to be a 24/7/365 slave would be to 'give up their life'. This pisses me off!

The use of the word 'bedroom' in this context does not imply a place to sleep, but rather a place to have sex. Such people have reduced BSDM to something that is purely sexual - incorrectly I might add.
Although there are elements of BDSM that produce a sexually gratifying response - such as a slave who obtains an erection when in bondage, it is an elementary mindset to reduce all elements of the BDSM lifestyle to sexual ones. The delight I receive from playing with a 'human dog' for instance is purely emotional and not sexual whatsoever for me. Moreover, the aspects of control from TPE (total power exchange) cannot be limited to the confines of a bedroom without me getting bored rather quickly.

Many inexperienced slaves reading this blog may have attended several sessions with one or more Masters or Mistresses - some experienced and some just as inexperienced. These sessions oftentimes may have been short, between 2-5 hours, and packed full of activities that involve the genitals. Unfortunately, this only furthers the perception that BDSM is about sex. I can attest that longer sessions of several days or weeks, offer an experience that you will never find in a short power session. These experiences will be quite the opposite from the cold, domineering experiences seen in some fantasy porn video.

Now let's talk about the 'giving up your life part'. Obviously, something compels me to want to own a slave and likewise, something must compel you to want to be a slave. For me, it's as though every fiber in my body tells me that this is the best thing for me, and likewise, you should have the same feeling. If you don't then that's probably why you feel like your 'giving up your life' rather than a feeling of finding it. Let's explore this further.

It's normal that throughout life, even through any given day or week there are times that you don't feel like you would want to be a slave, or from my aspect - a Master. I have these feelings at times. It's normal. A friend recently asked me if I thought he was making the right choice by getting married. Feelings of uncertainty are completely normal and can be applied to almost any other type of relationship. In a few posts now, I have stated that if you can 'get-off' and still feel like being a slave afterwards, then your feelings have probably transcended beyond something that is purely hormonal and that you are ready for the next step.

The very perception that you are 'giving up your life' has to mean that you are going to be at some kind of loss by being a slave. This is a negative perception however, as there is much to be gained, depending on the slave's situation, from being in a TPE relationship - physical and health, emotional, mental, sexual, and even spiritual benefits not to mention personal growth. Now you are probably thinking "yeah, right", but consider, just as one example, the plight of gay people persecuted throughout the world and as such remain 'closeted'. Arguably, one may say that remaining closeted has benefits, but anyone who has come out knows just as well as I do that it helps us achieve a sense of self-actualization. Achieving such as state would be impossible for someone who feels like a slave but who cannot live openly as one. Yes. It's difficult first coming out of the closet, and yes, even more difficult telling your loved ones about your involvement in BDSM, but it helps strengthen relationships with those who truly care for you and makes you feel like you have a sense of autonomy.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Games, Games, Games


When we are 'horny', our mind explores fantasies and boundaries that we would never cross in real life. And, sometimes when in the heat of the moment we might promise to or even act on something that we would never normally do. After we orgasm, we sometimes even regret the things that we've done or at the very least are astonished that we actually went through with the things we did. I don't believe there's a single adult out there who could not empathize with what I'm writing.

There are however, a select few people (definitely a minority) out there who have gotten to the point where these are no longer fantasies. They've acted on such things repeatedly enough, each gradually advancing to the next level, until they've become comfortable with them - just as comfortable as eating or sleeping. To them it is as right as rain.

Most of society, will never understand such people since they have never gone down such a path or through the cycles of growth that these people have gone through. To them it is a psychological illness. That people who are involved in such things are of a debased mind and cannot lead a functional life. Even many in BDSM, perhaps many that read my blog, may believe it only to be play. To these people the words in my blog will read perhaps as insanity or of someone that couldn't possibly be real. Nevertheless, to the select few, it has progressed beyond play - it is in a sense an integral part of their life, a state of mind and being and to outsiders they will always be thought mad.

To these people I want to say, in the strongest possible words, that I AM one of these select few and for me this is real. It is not a game. I am not horny when I write this blog (now almost for two years). I can speak about BDSM in these terms whether it be when I wake up first thing in the morning or when I hit my pillow before I fall asleep. I am also far from being a deadbeat - with over six years of education, my own home, have a solid career and am financially sound. I have achieved great things in my 37 years.

Many slaves who visit me get a lot out of a session. They learn new things and new sensations they never felt before. They learn what they like and what they don't. For them, it may be the first time they had a sound shoved down their piss hole or had electrodes strapped to their cock and balls, or the first time they were spanked or flogged or smelled a leather hood against their face. But for myself, since 2005, after having met with tens of slaves for one-time and on-going sessions, some lasting several years, I have passed all of this and I can say with absolute resolve that I need a 24/7/365 relationship in order to progress to the next level. I have been in vanilla relationships, one lasting for about eight-years and I have thought about having a 'nuclear' family and I can say with certainty that is not what I want. I want a BDSM family, with likeminded slaves.

Keep this in mind when contacting me for 24/7/365 purposes.

MASTER A